He speaks.

hurt

THE STORY:

It was the end of Summer and I was preparing for my cousin’s wedding.

It had been a pretty tough year for me and honestly-

I was BROKEN.

(((I had been in a dead-end relationship situation that had taken more from me than anything or anyone I had dealt with before. I was a single mom, working a job that barely covered my expenses. I was just recovering suffering from postpartum depression. The truth was I had given up-I had been here before. This was all too familiar territory. I wasn’t sure I wanted out because being “alone” is worse than this…Right?)))

Instead of heading out-of-town I allowed him to use my car the night before her wedding. I knew he had cheated on me.Lied. I knew he was doing and selling drugs. I knew what I should have done. Instead I kept doing what he I wanted to do. Enabling.                                                                He was MY drug.

The cycle of abuse has (2) two parties: the abuser | the abused               {self-explanatory.}

I went to sleep that night with a horrible feeling. In fact I couldn’t sleep. The next morning he hadn’t returned with my car. I called him about 50 times only to get his voicemail. I was so angry because I figured he had gone to some girls house and was still asleep. —Yes, in my car. It had happen before. When I couldn’t reach him I called his mom and friends. No one knew where he was. I got worried. We soon found out he was in jail for possession and my car in the impound-on a Saturday. I couldn’t get it out until Monday and of course it was going to cost $200 that I didn’t have.

I was SICK, literally I found myself crying and vomiting.

SOMANYEMOTIONS. How could I be so stupid? Am I tired of this yet? What am I going to do? Who is going to help me? Why me?

The worse part was my nine-month old saw me in this weak and vulnerable state & then he began to cry uncontrollably.

Suddenly, it was as if a voice had rung in my ear. At first, I didn’t know who it was or how I heard it. But then it was SO clear.

I stopped crying and began to formulate a plan on how I was going to get to her wedding three(3) hours away. Throughout the day I ran into problem after problem. It felt like a movie. Adversity met me at every turn. I finally made it to her wedding with the help of a good friend who drove me all the way there.

THE POINT:

I believe the voice I heard was God. He told me to stop crying. He told me to get it together…for my son. He told me to LEAVE the situation. NOTHING is coincidence because everything happens for a reason. As bizarre as it sounds, I needed him to go to jail.

He was in jail just long enough for me:

to get a better (paying) job back home

to be around my friends and family.

to move on and be HAPPY

to get stronger and ween myself from him—my Drug.

When ‘He speaks’….listen.

“So then faith [comes] by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.”                                                                                                                       -Romans 10:17

clouds

4 thoughts on “He speaks.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s