Just recently, I ended a friendship. Yes, I ended it.
Why? Because the -ish was TOXIC to my personal mental health and I am too much of a giver.
So many times I felt I was giving too much or being used regardless of if that was the intent. She was a great friend to me during hard times in my life and I’d like to think I had been a good friend to her during her hard times. To no fault of hers I always felt like I needed to help her or I was involved in her personal dramas. I celebrated her in her good times and she celebrate mine. But now we just weren’t on the same page about a lot of issues. Not to mention most of our recent conversations were negative and didn’t provide substance to grow. Sometimes you outgrow people and your paths are no longer the same. This was definitely a moment in growing pains.
Do I miss her? Yes of course the laughter and good times. But overall this “breakup” was needed. I will support my friends through anything except self- sabotage or unhealthy habits. So when things get “too real” for me then its time to ‘bow out’. This tactic I learned this after dealing with so many bad relationships I kept trying to continue
But there’s a positive…..GROWTH (lessons learned)
- Never give more than what you’re getting back or can afford to give.
- Don’t put your reputation at risk for anyone.
- Don’t put your credit or any money on the line to be negatively effected or lost. (respectively) Money and friends/family DON’T MIX!
- MIND-YOUR-BUSINESS even when someone invites you into theirs.
- Know. when. to. let. go. and. literally. LET. GOD. God. will. put. PERIODS. where. we. attempt. to. put. commas. (God’s will be done)
- You can’t make someone know their worth or potential so be your own cheerleader and focus on your destiny.
- You can lead the horse to water but you can’t make them drink.
- Self care is important. If you don’t take care of yourself then how do you expect to be able to take care of others.
—There is nothing wrong with being a good friend/significant other but you have to be good to yourself first before you can be any good to anyone else. If you find yourself giving too much of yourself to anything or anyone in a situation it’s time to take a step back and figure out if the situation is adding weight or value to your life and react accordingly.
I wish her the best but whats best for me is important and I have a family that needs my good and positive energy. Keep in mind everything and everyone has a season in your life….Maybe one day we will reconnect and at that point in life I will know what boundaries to establish within the friendship and be a better friend until then Que Sera Sera….